You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
