He kissed a someone with a penis
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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