So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
