how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
