wanna go halves on a baby?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
