peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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