This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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