maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
