there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
