I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
