remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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