david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
