TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize