physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
