She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
