Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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