I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
