Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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