I just saw a hot homeless man
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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