D3 body, D1 cock
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just had sex on a roof
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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