He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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