how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
