I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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