Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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