i don't like sucking hair
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Randomize
