Grow some girl-balls and come out already
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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