It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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