We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize