I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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