I just pynch a tree in the face
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
