that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
