It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
COCAINE IS GR8
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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