If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
