Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
