do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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