I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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