Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He better not be in your backpack
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
