Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
