Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
