my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
