Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Randomize
