we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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