help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize