Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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