I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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