Tell her she can't have a vagina
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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