I wish I could punch you in the face.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
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