chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
