weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
