ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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