She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
