I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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