My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Sacagawea was the original milf.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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