Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I bet he comes in French.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
