you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
