so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
