Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
we should paint friendship bongs
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
