Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
